That Far and No Farther
by Zoe Alice Latimer
Summary: The boy I cared for was dead, and then he wasn't again. I met the man who changed that. T for clean, OC/OC - absolutely NO Ten/OC! - romance. Any British profanity is unintentional. Now edited. [11/20/2013: In one of the chapters I make a comment that I have now realized glorifies expansionism. I haven't got a chance to correct it yet, but until then, I apologize.]
1. One: I'm Destined To Do What?

A/N: The Doctor's timeline is between "Runaway Bride" and "Smith and Jones." Because of the recentness of "Doomsday," there are hints of Ten/Rose. I own no piece of pop culture referred or alluded to, including Doctor Who itself. And finally, for her delicate tweaking with the Doctor—how he speaks, reacts, and operates—I insist everyone hail Sara Eleanor Rose, who fully deserves to be the next companion.

Please read and review! :)

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_How can a person feel homesick at home?_

One: I'm Destined To Do _What?_

**August 2, 2011, evening**

I couldn't cry about him, nor could I let go of him, because I couldn't believe he was gone.

Ironic that only a week before, my well-meaning grandmother took me out for lunch and asked me, "Do you know any guy who catches your eye?"

I half-smiled, opening my mouth to remind her of what she had known for awhile, when she added, "_Besides_ Judah?"

My smile faded. "No," I said, rather curtly. "No one besides Judah."

She cocked her head, examining me. "Don't you think it's time to let go? You've liked him for three years, and he's never shown any interest."

I gulped down the last of my French fry. "The hard part of… of following through with ending a crush is that, when it comes down to it, I'm drawn to him whether I like it or not. But I do like it, like him, as a person—no matter what."

"Cait, is he _worth_ it?" she asked.

_Is he worth _this? I now asked. Memories tormented me:

_Judah describing his new trombone_

_Judah and me intelligently discussing Middle-Earth; Judah calling me Morgoth and swearing he considered it a compliment_

_Me berating his best friend Paul for letting him watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3 before 1 and 2_

_Me, fully clothed on the edge of a pool, daring my cousins to touch me with their wet paws; Judah, shirtless and dripping, squirting me from behind; me slaughtering him _

and on and on.

Now I would have to let go, because all Judah had left to hold onto I had brushed my hand past, in a coffin at a funeral.

I shuddered once, uncontrollably, remembering how my friend had looked. (And to remind myself harshly that it had only been Judah's body, not the soul that I had loved and had made him Judah.) Everything had been wrong, as funerals always are: his face too pale; his jaw too tight with no half-amused smile; his dark hair too short and neat. His corpse had worn a suit I remembered him itching to strip off after the last school concert—on his arm he'd already had a bag with his preferred crimson T-shirt and black jeans and hoodie. The black fuzz on his chin and lip had been shaved off, though he never would have bothered. Even with his height and skinniness, the casket had seemed too long and narrow to me, as if it was trying to compress him into a box in my memory.

I did find irony in the morning I spent agonizing over clothes he wasn't alive to see. I had tried to decide whether Judah would have wanted a mourner or a mature young woman prepared to move on. When I remembered how several teenagers would go casual, as if Judah wouldn't have wanted anyone to be sad about him, I decided on dark clothing. Judah wasn't selfish, but not mourning his death would be stupid.

Judah Shepard had moved in three years ago, almost to the day. He'd been almost fourteen, and even at thirteen I'd been interested in him. In a casual attempt to get him to talk, I tapped into a pool of genius. And I wasn't the only one. He quickly bonded with my friend Paul, and I liked to think I was the main other who patiently encouraged him to speak up and laugh out and join in.

Sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I had thought he had looked at me, but if I hadn't just imagined it, it never went farther. I was just Cait Cooper to Judah Shepard, and now it didn't matter.

I buried my head in my arms, forehead to the table. "I'm so pathetic," I mumbled into it for probably the fifth time, not counting the times I'd said it while he lived. I realized my decision to forgo makeup today had paid off; otherwise I'd be a mess of running mascara now. I was listless and fiddling with a pen when an adult called, "Pizza's here!"

I tucked the pen behind my ear and grabbed a paper plate, napkin, and slice of pizza, but I was too heartbroken to eat. I wondered if the circles under my eyes were as dark as those of Paul, who was in bad shape on the other end of the room. No one else seemed to suffer from constricting throat, but why should they? Most of them had only known Judah by secondhand acquaintance, and they were here to have fun.

Full guilt struck me for attending a party only a week after Judah's death. He had been barely seventeen. The others seemed to have forgotten the past quickly enough, but _forgetting _the past wasn't _my _issue. I poked at a cooling pepperoni and ended up thinking, _If only I could change the past._

I disentangled the pen from my hair and smoothed out my nearly stainless napkin. Not because I thought I could or would but just because I felt miserable enough to do anything, I wrote, "I, Caitlin Joy Cooper, swear that if I could I would risk life and limb changing the past in behalf of Judah Colin Shepard. And hope not to cause a time paradox in the process." I promptly crumpled the napkin and stood to throw it away.

That's when Judah stepped in front of me and called my name. "Cait, we need to talk."

"Had a tiff already?" laughed—was that Paul?

I stared blankly, my jaw unhinging. "You're dead," I whispered to Judah, "and don't you dare tell me I imagined that."

"That's why we need to talk," Judah said, just loud enough for me to hear.

I couldn't talk anymore and I was sure I would faint. I wanted to as Judah pulled me into the next room, amid laughter.

_I've lost it. Grief has driven me crazy and I'm hallucinating, _I thought. However, in my limited but alarmingly fast-growing experience, hallucinations can't yank arms from sockets. My heart pounded at the sight of him—alive, apparently very much so, and holding my forearm as if his resurrection depended on it.

He closed the door behind us, muttering in his low voice, "This could get awkward."

I found my voice in shrieking, "Why doesn't anyone else remember you died?" Not even Paul, only Judah and me.

He turned to face me, but I had to look away; it was too much. He sighed a little. "Well, it hasn't happened for them."

I stared at him.

"Two time-travelers changed history so that I never died. Those guys don't remember because it never happened."

"Why do you and I remember?"

I think he grinned, and from the pocket of his hoodie pulled out a crumpled napkin. Immediately I unfolded mine, but nothing was written on it—he had never died, so I had never written it. But he had the original: my oath, my love-promise, my waiver.

"Never mind me. You remember because you are going to be one of the time-travelers."

"Where did you get that?" I whispered, my eyes fixed on the napkin because I couldn't bear to look at his face. I pulled myself together from the brink of a wild, sobbing meltdown.

"Asking _when_ would be more appropriate," he said, and hesitated. "Never mind that too. If you don't want to cause a paradox, you need to go to the place where I died… A man with a big blue box marked 'police' will be there, but he's not the police. He's late… a week late."

I inhaled sharply as Judah took my hands and folded them over the napkin. I finally dared to look at his face, just in time to see his syrup-colored eyes flick over mine.

"Before this guy course corrects, catch him and give him this."

"How can I be sure who I'm trying to catch?" I asked almost inaudibly.

Judah leaned back. I knew that look: his look when having trouble describing a thing. "Uh… he's tall, taller than I am." (Which was saying a lot.) "_Crazy _brown hair. Light brown trench coat, Converse. And he'll call himself the Doctor."


	2. Two: Paradox Is My Favorite Comeback

A/N: Sorry about all the exposition in this chapter. I wasn't sure how to get around it, so I tried to make it as entertaining as possible. If you have any tips, let 'em rip.

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_How can a person feel homesick at home? Can someone leave and taken home with them?_

Two: "Paradox" is My Favorite Comeback

"I'd rather not be dead again," Judah mentioned after that.

That's when my instincts kicked in and practically shoved me out the back door. I lingered inside it, one hand warming the knob and the other firmly clamped around the napkin. Then I took off at a run.

Half sobbing, I was so physically and emotionally shaken that it was all I could do to find the place Judah had died. Or not died. The two times I had been there—after we I heard about the accident and a day or two after, rather morbidly I suppose—the apathy toward the accident and a teenager's death had jarred me. Because of the lack of evidence (police tape, roadblocks, news cameras, cross on the side of the road), I could probably find and recognize the place.

At a certain corner, one could either take a few blocks to the accident site or a few blocks in the opposite direction to Judah's house. At this corner I found a man with brown hair like a windswept llama's, rapidly pacing up and down the street. Next to the man stood a tall blue box marked "police." _Right down to the Converse_, I thought. _This is the… the Doctor._

He was talking to himself in a slightly irregular English accent, as if he _might_ be Scottish. "I've got to be late. Yes, definitely—missed the important date. So, what, I'm off by maybe a week, or…" He stopped to scratch the side of his head.

Taking advantage of his need to breathe, I rushed forward and blurted, "Are you the Doctor?"

"What?" He twisted around to eye me. "Well, yes I am. My reputation precedes me. Again. Blimey, seems to do that a lot lately."

I should have given him the napkin, as Judah had told me to. Instead I faltered on, "The boy I… care for just died."

His brown eyes sharpened and flickered with something that seemed almost like recognition, and his smile set into a line. For I moment I thought he might tear up. "I am very sorry," he said. Even though he turned away, opening the blue box's door, I knew he meant it.

"No, you—you don't get it," I stammered. "Please—please don't leave—yet. You said you're a week late. He died a week ago. He's not—wasn't even seventeen."

I wasn't getting it right, but for the first time I thought, _Could Judah have died because this Doctor wasn't there?_

The Doctor's left eyebrow lifted. "You don't hide much, do you?" he asked, sounding gently troubled.

I shoved the napkin into his hands. "Maybe I'm crazy. I _feel_ crazy enough, for heaven's sake. But read that."

The Doctor closed the police box door and leaned against it, crossing his legs. His eyes had narrowed when he looked back up at me, as if to study me. "Very interesting phrasing, this. 'Hope not to cause a time paradox.' What makes you add that, Caitlin Joy Cooper?"

I shook my head, flushing. "All I know is that the boy who died last week is alive again. And I wrote that just before it happened."

Inexplicably, a smile started to spread across his face. "Well, come on then! Talk to me!"

So we faced each other in the warm night, and I did.

The Doctor's smile only grew until I finished. His eyes lit up. "Brilliant! I wouldn't believe it's possible except that you've already succeeded on everyone else's timeline. And obviously he's seen and spoken to me before, even though it hasn't happened to me yet. This is impossible and it's already happened and going to happen. Oh, very timey-wimey."

"Very what?" I asked, but he didn't seem to hear me.

Instead, his smile changed, and he looked very serious, bending down a little so we were eye to eye. I shivered—his brown eyes were kind, but very… old, and wise, and sad. "This may seem like a no-brainer," he said quietly, "but remember that time is on our side and take some to answer. Are you sure you want to come? You included this clause about life and limb. Is he worth it?"

I closed my eyes and heard my grandmother's voice asking the same thing.

I tried to remember Judah's last words to me, but they must have been too insignificant. Daydreaming about him while he lived was one thing, but risking my life of him after his death and resurrection was something else. But that's exactly what I had vowed, so I replied without hesitation. "Yes. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I want to help Judah." It was like my heartbeat: _For Judah, for Judah, for Judah. _What I really wanted to know was _why._ "Besides, you can't leave me behind or you'll cause a paradox."

"There is that," said the Doctor thoughtfully, rubbing his hand through his thick brown hair. "But it will be dangerous. It's _always_ dangerous. 'Dangerous mission with the Doctor' is redundant. How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

He made a face. "Sixteen? Blimey, that's young!"

"Paaaarrr-uhhhhh-dahhhhkssss," I repeated.

"Again, there is that," he said, straightening. "Yes, of course you can come."

I jumped up as he rubbed his hands together and went on, "This is going to be a lot of fun, Caitlin Joy Cooper." He was positively gleeful, and to my astonishment I was catching it. "Rewriting history we've already rewritten, absolutely no idea what'll show up, and your boyfriend's life in the bargain."

"Uh, we're not…" I trailed off stupidly, blushing hot.

"It's a priceless adventure! No, Caitlin Joy, I wouldn't trade the moment I landed late for a year of on-times. And if you knew how handy a year of on-times can be, you'd be impressed. Go on, into the TARDIS."

"The what?" I asked again, sure and unregretful that I was now in over my head.

"The—the big blue thi—oh, just go." He gave up, opening the door to the blue box behind him.

_This may be the stupidest thing I'll ever do_, I thought as I walked through the door the Doctor held open for me… and then it hit me. I stared open-mouthed.

"Well," said the Doctor, grinning and swiveling back and forth on his waist. "Isn't there something you'd like to say?"

I laughed out, "This is really a time machine?"

He stopped swiveling, his grin fading to a pout. "But… you didn't even notice… the… the size… as compared to the outside…"

"Oh, oh!" I cried. "Right, it's—bigger on the inside—right!" I smiled awkwardly, tapping my thigh. "That's, that's very cool… very cool… I wish my backpack would do that." I coughed, and added in a rapt rush, "But this is really a time machine!"

"I know!" Grinning again, the Doctor leapt over a rail toward me. "Isn't it marvelous? It's dimensionally transcendental, brought to you by—you guessed it—the transcendental engineering of the Time Lord race."

_What race? _

I hesitated before asking, "You're not human, are you?"

"What makes you say so?"

I waved my hand ambiguously. "Any human who invented a time machine would never keep it secret. They'd be making money off it."

The Doctor gave me a strange look. I caught a chill. "Some would, undoubtedly, but give your species more credit. You're a good people. You love well."  
Not sure I understood, I simply redirected. "So you're not human."

"Nope, alien. Time Lord, the ones who invented the dimensionally transcendental box you see before you."  
_Fitting name. _"You don't look like an alien."

"Oh, on the outside maybe not, but two hearts inside." He put his hands on his chest and pantomimed two pulsing hearts, complete with thumping noises, in a manner reminiscent of the chicken dance.

This gave me a shock. I leaned back, reevaluating. _Funny, I would never mistake him for anything but a weirdo in his thirties who needs a new hairstylist. _"So do lots of you Time Lords scurry around my planet with time machines and otherwise masquerading as normal people?"

The Doctor stiffened. Suddenly he seemed extremely tired.

I leaped upright again. "Was it something I said?"

He didn't respond, just turned away.

_Just some guy in his thirties… until he gives that look. _I deflated. "Um… Does your time machine have a name?"

"She's the TARDIS. It's an acronym I don't feel like explaining."

"Oh, please do," I begged.

He brightened. "If you insist."

I was taken about by the childlike delight on his face as he babbled incoherently.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked in confusion.

"Aw, that's lovely of you, but begging is unnecessary." And he went on.

I threw my hands in the air and decided I didn't need to know what "TARDIS" meant.

At that moment the Doctor handed the napkin back to me. We, I, had _almost _forgotten about it. "I might stick that to the door, if I were you," he said. "Humans can be forgetful of the most important things."

I nodded absent-mindedly. The napkin already had some tape on it, I noticed. Thumbing the vow to the time machine—TARDIS—door a little above my height, I reread: "…hope not to cause a time paradox in the process."

"What if I _do_?" I asked aloud.

"Oh well," the Doctor said reassuringly, as if reading my thoughts. His eyes began to gleam as he grinned and reached for a lever on the console. "This lever is my favorite! _Allons-y_!"

The time machine jerked, and I slammed against the wall. An unholy screech grated my ears. "Doctor, did you hit a horse, or has your dishwasher broken?" I cried, rubbing my shoulder.

"We're off," he said simply. The screeching faded away. "Now, how much were you told about the boy's death?"

I swallowed a knot in my throat, which was composed of my fear at the takeoff and of the information we would have to discuss. "He died on July 26, at night. It was a car accident."

"Work with me, Caitlin. Was he in a car at the time?"

"I'm—I'm not sure. I think not. But I don't know who hit him, either."

"It _wasn't _a car accident," the Doctor said without skipping a beat, still attending to the console.

"What do you mean?" I asked, nettled. "I should think I'd remember _that _much."

"Too coincidental. For me, I mean. Happened before; definitely not a hit-and-run."

Unreasonably, I got angry. "What, too boring for you? Please show some respect for what's most important to me."

He stared at me—coldly, I thought, but I was interpreting things through my unhappiness. "Trust me. Do as I say. _That _needs to be most important to you. It _wasn't _a car accident."

At that instant, it hit me that I might not come home. I had never considered myself prone to Judah's death, even though "risk life and limb" that been in my napkin-cum-contract.

I hadn't told anyone goodbye.

How often did the Doctor say, or not say, goodbye? He acted cheerful enough, but that something in his eyes…

"Now, I do have a few other instructions—nothing too complicated, just standard time-traveling…" He waved his hands, trying to convey his meaning. "…stuff… Anyway. Whatever you do, don't touch yourself. Ro—" He broke off, then recovered as if nothing had happened. "A friend of mine tried that and a paradox swallowed me whole."

"What a story that must make," I said.

"Don't change anything but the accepted change of the boy's death. By the way, you can mention aliens and time machines and whatever else you think is relevant, but don't mention the kid's death to his face unless absolutely necessary."

I hesitated. _But…_"He knew about it when he talked to me."

The Doctor shrugged. "Who knows when necessity will be absolute? Look, it's not going to happen if we can help it, so there's no need to scare him."

My head began to spin. _But…_ "I can't let him die because he's unprepared."

"Caitlin… Judah Shepard is not going to die."

Determination and… something else… perhaps a refusal to lose a life… filled his brown eyes. But as I shuddered, the iciness faded, and he smiled.

_But… _I swallowed, sank back, and nodded. "I believe you."

He seemed to study me again. "Here's the good news: You already know you'll succeed in saving his life."

My heartbeat quickened with hope—for the first time. "So Judah's death wasn't real," I stated softly.

"Oh, it was real enough, but it never happened. His isn't the first legit reality I've rewritten, because legit points of time don't equal fixed, unchangeable points of time."

But just when he had begun to speak slowly enough that it didn't go completely over my head, he reached for his favorite lever. Again, the time machine screeched, but this time I managed to clutch the railing before the landing threw me into the wall.

"I just parked," he said, slipping his hands into his coat pockets.

"Who taught you how to drive?" I mumbled, adrenaline subsiding.

The Doctor went to the door, pausing momentarily to reread my napkin.

I wondered if I should wait for orders. _"Trust me. Do as I say. That needs to be most important to you," _he'd said. I knew I should, to save Judah. But _of course_ I wasn't going to if it meant staying behind, so I followed the Doctor to the door.

"Did I say you could follow me yet?"

"Did I ask?" I grinned.

The Doctor's fake scowl softened, and he grinned boyishly. "Oh, a bit cheeky, you," he chuckled, opening the TARDIS door and motioning me out. "Those younger than nine hundred first."

**July 25, 2011, afternoon**

I jumped out of the time machine and into a wave of heat. Though not sure what to expect, I knew something was off. "This isn't where Judah had his accident." I paused, uneasily questioning my wording, and looked around me as the Doctor, still grinning, breathed deeply.

I started. "This is Judah's neighborhood, I think."

"We may be a block or so off," the Doctor said loftily. "Mm, smell that?"

"Something exciting about to happen?" I guessed, slowly smiling. His infectious cheerfulness made me wonder if I had imagined the glint in his eye.

"Barbecue, actually. I was smelling barbecue." The Doctor took another whiff, rubbing my shoulder as if doing so would enhance the smell. "You don't suppose we could…"

I gave him as pointed a look as I knew how.

"Right, sorry. D'you think you could find his house from here?"

I thought I could, considering I was an expert on Judah, so we left the TARDIS rather conspicuously on the sidewalk corner. The Doctor's every word riveted me even though I couldn't understand many and had enough tumbling in my chest and stomach to run rollercoaster park.

"Another thing—you appear to have aimed a bit early," I said.

"We're a day and a half early because it's just not good enough for me to show up and climax and save his life."

"Us," I corrected. "Why not?"

"It's not my style, first of all, and it probably wouldn't work. We need to get to the bottom of the death that won't happen, and that means investigation."

"How do you plan to investigate?"

He raised his eyebrows twice. "Oh, but half the fun will be watching me do it! I'm not just here for your—"

"Friend," I interrupted, afraid he would dub us a couple again. That would be too much trauma for one day, assuming it was only a day. This had thrown my sense of time seriously out of whack.

"I originally came to find a Dhounil."

I tried to focus amid the lingo of time travel—Dimensionally transcendental, TARDIS, Time Lord, Dhounil—none of which made much sense. "That's an alien, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Bravo."

"So that's why you traveled to my time."

"A Dhounil showed up on my radar—no sort of signal, but it was alone and on Earth so I figured I was needed. Had to cancel a very important one-on-one with the Prime Minister to do it, too."

"The British Prime Minister?" I asked, impressed, my head going up.

He shook his head. "Nope." He popped the _p_. "The Nuliaopadlian one. I only hope that flood of acid they're expecting holds off a bit."

"What good is a time machine if you can't use to stop an acidic flood before it happens?"

"The kind of good it takes to save a human life and find a Dhounil that might be connected."

"What's a Duoneil? You know, in case I see one on the street and have to point it out to you."

He smirked.  
"What, not likely?"

"You wouldn't think anything of it if you _did _see it."

I made offended noises.

Not too much longer, we stopped in front of Judah's house. Despite the heat, I shivered. "This is so weird. I can't knock on the door and say, 'Hiya, Judah! You know time travel? Well, it's possible!' He'll think I'm nuts."

"Nutter versus dead," the Doctor pointed out, patiently playing with a device from his pocket, which I didn't recognize. "But of course _that_ example was absurd: No one says 'hiya.'"

I tried to laugh but a lump clogged my throat. "Nutter versus dead" clarified my choice, but how could I get Judah to believe me in order to save his life? I had barely _forced words out_ the last time I'd faced Judah.

The Doctor caught my expression and took hold of my hand. "We'll go up together, all right?"

I felt like a very small child next to him, but I also felt better.

No one answered the door.

"Great," the Doctor said. "I come halfway across the universe at the risk of the Nuliaopadlians to save some boy's skin, and he's on holiday!"

"Cait… should I know what's going on?" said a somewhat confused but mostly amused voice.

I jumped a foot in the air as I turned around. _Run, _my instincts wisely instructed.

"I take it back," the Doctor said in high good humor. Why? He hadn't even known what Judah looked like.

"Judah! Hi!" I blurted. He looked fantastic, the sun shining off his hair, though it was so black; his head high and rather pink with heat; his loose red T-shirt splattered with water as if he'd splashed himself. It was almost too much for me. "Uh, where have you been?"

"Library." He shifted his arm to show his hoodie bundling a few books. One spine peeped out enough for me to read part of the title.

"Something _Extraterrestrial_?" I said, not believing our luck. _Maybe that's why Doctor is beaming._ "No way you're reading about aliens!"

He gave me a look, his eyebrows furrowing. "I—"

"Hiya, Judah," the Doctor cut in with a wink at me.

I groaned softly, my face in my hand.

"I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who?" Judah asked.

"Just 'the Doctor,' actually," I contributed, managing not to sound as tense as I felt.

"He… You look like some actor… only, I never know names…" Judah said, half to himself.

"I just have one of those faces," the Doctor said. "Dashing, boyish, glowing. Righto, let's cut to the chase." The Doctor paused, grimacing. "I am too full of clichés today. Where was I? Oh, do you believe in time travel?"

Judah hesitated. "I'm ready to believe in twelve-foot blue Martians."

"Really?" I asked. Momentarily I wondered why he had hesitated.

"Why does everyone abuse Mars?" the Doctor muttered, playing with his device again.

"Oh, awesome!" Judah's eyes widened. "Is that a screwdriver?"

"Why, yes, it is actually. Sonic. I—" The Doctor stopped mid-babble, narrowing his eyes at Judah, left eyebrow rising. "How did _you _know that?"

A grin spread across Judah's face. "I like engineering." I could almost see him calculating how this "sonic screwdriver" operated, but for my part I drew a total blank.

"I'd wondered if that was possible," my friend continued conversationally. "I didn't know they'd been invented yet."

"Sorry about that; they haven't. Ah-ah-ah, don't you touch!"

Judah pulled his hand back, looking surprised. "You're from the future?" he asked the Doctor.

"Sheesh, give him all the attention," I said, raising my eyebrows. I briefly wondered if it would be hard to lift just one, as I'd seen the Doctor do. "I'm a week in my past… doesn't that count?"

Judah just stared at me.

"We're not the focus of this visit, as much as I like the spotlight," the Doctor sighed. "We're here about you."

That's when I lost my head. "The reason we're here… you won't understand it because it hasn't happened and, with us, won't—but I've seen it, and… I'll do anything to keep it from happening again, from happening at all."

The Doctor nonchalantly stepped on my toe. I choked back the rest of what I would have said.

"What?" Judah turned from me to the Doctor, who smiled cheesily. Judah looked pointedly to me. "Come on, you have to tell me _now._"

"I—can't; I mean, I'm not exactly allowed," I whispered. "Trust me."

He drew back, looking bewildered, concerned. _Reality check,_ I thought._ It's not fair to expect him at act like a Disney prince. _He looked so confused. _Poor Judah._

He cocked his head. "Is this about… You know. The thing in my basement?"

The Doctor and I both started. "You have a thing in your basement? Oh, do tell," the Doctor said, putting an arm around Judah's shoulder. Judah eyed him somewhat warily, then me. Looking down, I blushed about my near-disaster moments ago.

Reluctantly, he opened his front door. "You might as well see it, but be careful. Mom's home, and she doesn't know—my parents would freak."

The Doctor and I quietly followed him. He went on, fumblingly trying to explain to us. "I found it almost a month ago. It seemed lost, and kind of scared, so… I gave it a place in my basement."

"You're the kid who sprays dogs with hoses because they annoy you," I said disbelievingly, smiling all the same.

"It's not a dog," he said, faltering as he tried to smile back.

I impulsively blundered again, putting my hand on his arm as I remembered the jolt of discovering the Doctor had two hearts. For the first time on his end, we touched, and I thought I could tell from his muscles' tensing that he didn't like it. I hastily pulled away and pushed myself to the other side of the Doctor as we descended the stairs.

Judah flipped the light switch. On a felt blanket in the far corner, which was surprisingly clean, huddled a small form. I recoiled; this was an alien different from "my" alien, for the Doctor had at least looked familiar. But he stepped down the stairs, and I felt I had to get closer as well.

The Doctor's eyes darkened. "It's the Dhounil."

* * *

A/N: Once upon a time, there were two writers. One was enchanting and everyone loved her. The other couldn't write if the nine Muses held a gun to her head. And there were lots of tiny, unimportant gems of people in between. You know what will make all of them better writers and better people?

**Reviews.**


	3. Three: My Dhounil's Keeper

_How can a person feel homesick at home? Can someone leave and taken home with them? Can they ever come home again?_

Three: My Dhounil's Keeper

The Dhounil spoke, and its voice rang almost like laughter, except that it was obviously terrified. _"They chase me."_

Judah knelt next to the shaking, ruddy body and quietly spoke over it. "I can't understand it."

"I can," I said, shivering. "It's saying… '_They chase me. Help me. I'm alone. I'm alone._'" I turned to the Doctor, whose face was like stone. "Doctor, why can I understand it?"

He never took his eyes off the creature. "The TARDIS is translating inside your head." He added softly, "He's beautiful, isn't he?"

I once saw a red panda at a zoo. The Dhounil looked something like that, but slightly larger, and instead of having patterned fur, it or he wore patterned skin. And human hands with black pads, like a cat's. "Beautiful"? Not so much. He might have been cute if he had been happy.

"_I cannot see the aiwick,_" it wailed.

"'Aiwick'?" I asked—whether to the alien or the alien Doctor, I didn't really stop to wonder.

"The word has no equivalent in your language for translation," the Doctor explained.

Judah, his hand on the alien's head, looked at us blankly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"It says it can't see—something," I said clumsily.

The Doctor closed his eyes. "The closest example I have is… Well, humans have stars. Dhounil have aiwick. He's only a cub, and he's never been _indoors_ overnight." His eyes were hard when he opened them, giving Judah an icy stare. "You've separated it from everything it knows."

"Doctor." I sounded like a wounded animal. "We don't know anything about aliens, but Judah hardly did that. The Du-Dhounil was already on this planet, chased and alone, and Judah tried to befriend it."

"You _would_ take _his_ side," the Doctor groused.

I hadn't given Judah time for his own defense, but he had reacted by standing up, startled but firm. "I haven't hurt or frightened it in any way I knew to avoid." For some reason, he looked at me. "That's more than I can say in most cases."

I mouthed, _What do you mean?_, but he looked back to the Doctor. They were both edged in cold.

Distressed, I focused on the alien instead. "What's your name, love?"

"_Clesto,_" he hummed, looking startled. Then he shuddered again, "_They chase me."_

"Who, Clesto?" I asked, stepping toward him. He shrank back.

I glanced over my shoulder. "Who, Doctor? Humans?" I hesitated. "Judah?"

"_They, _not _he_," the Doctor said thoughtfully. "Plural."

This time, Clesto answered. _"Cypriens."_

The Doctor's eyes widened in confusion, then understanding, and in seconds his hands took my shoulders. "No, it's not Judah. It's whoever is going to kill him."

In that moment, no one seemed to move or breathe or even exist.

"What did you say?" Judah asked, going pale.

My eyes widened as I realized the Doctor's mistake. And I'd thought _I_ would spill the beans.

The Doctor looked as if he'd just taken a wrong turn in a very bad neighborhood. "Oops," he said quietly.

Clesto seemed to understand what was being said, for he pressed closer to Judah.

Judah, surprisingly, appealed to me. "Cait, you said you'd seen something in the future you desperately wanted to change. Was it my death?"

I looked helplessly to the Doctor, fighting back tears.

"Caitlin saw two realities, both of which are real but only one of which can happen," the Doctor said, quickly coming to my rescue. "We're here to make sure it's the one in which you live."

Judah looked from me to the Doctor. "This may be bad timing, but how did you meet Cait?" ("_Kay," _the Dhounil repeated, looking at me.)

I was glad Judah hadn't asked me.

"You told her where to find me, actually."

"But why did she go?"

"Because I'm the one way to change the past."

Then I was in the hot seat again. "Cait, why do you care so much?"

I didn't bother looking to the Doctor, because I knew only I could answer Judah.

_You're my best friend. I won't lose you. I might love you._

All that came out was, "Uh—uh—uh—"

For some reason, Judah smiled slightly at his feet. "Sorry. I didn't mean to seem ungrateful, I guess."

I shut my mouth.

"You're taking the news rather well," the Doctor said, raising an eyebrow.

"You'd be surprised what I take well," Judah said, facing the Doctor but his eyes fixed on me. "Aliens. Time travel. Potential death. On-the-spot essays are another matter, though."

The Doctor and I laughed. Judah's smile just got bigger.

The Doctor squatted and scratched Clesto behind the ears. Clesto gave him a "Really?" kind of incredulous look. "I'd like to get you two into the TARDIS and use some wibbly-wobbly tracky-wacky machines to figure out what's so special about you that the Cypriens who chase you haven't snared you yet."

"_Yet,"_ Clesto repeated uneasily, flicking his ears around the Doctor's fingers.

"But, they _are_ chasing him," Judah interrupted. Of course, he couldn't know when Clesto was speaking. "I don't think it's safe to take him into potential danger."

The Doctor tilted his head. "If they haven't found him yet, there's no reason they should find him just by taking him outside. We all go."

Instinctively I watched for Judah's reaction, a habit deep in my grain because from the moment I saw him I had been stealing glances to see if I could read his thoughts on them. Now well-practiced, I caught Judah's eyes momentarily narrow and flicker over Clesto.

_He doesn't like _that _one bit, _I thought. I got the feeling the Doctor knew it, too, even though he'd only known Judah a little while. I wondered if he also understood what I did about Judah's protection of Clesto.

Astonishingly for the boy who tried to feed chili pepper to my cat, Judah really cared about the alien's safety. He understood that this was not prank, that Clesto could be killed and worse.

Although I focused on preventing Judah's death, I admired this in him and even began to see it his way. In ways Clesto seemed like a human child, but alone and afraid. Judah had taken an older brother position with which I realized I would stand—unless it came down to A) Abandon Clesto and Save Judah's Life or B) Lose Judah Protecting Clesto, in which case I'd always choose A.

I glanced at the Doctor. What would he choose?

Finally Judah exhaled and gave a very little smile. "I just realized I'll need a cover story for my parents."

I was sure he hadn't really been thinking that, but he had a point. _Finally, a problem I _don't _have,_ I thought. Present Me (or past, from my perspective) was perfect, oblivious to our friend's problems and our own potential for heartbreak. I would have to be careful that neither of my parents took note of me, or anyone who might tell them that their daughter was all about town with Judah and a strange man.

In the end, Judah scribbled a note, stuck it under a fridge magnet, and buried Clesto in his jacket hood.

"How cute are you?" the Doctor murmured to me while Judah was out of earshot. "You can barely make eye contact with him. Have a little confidence, Caitlin! You're cleverer than you realize."

"Um… thanks for the relationship advice, Doctor."

"_Dokker. Kay,"_ Clesto said from deep inside the hood. I jumped at the sound. _Apparently little aliens have big ears._

"Well?" Judah asked, turning around.

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, right, of course. But before we leave, you see, there is one extremely important question I have to ask you, Judah Colin Shepard."

I shivered at the look in his eyes.

"How do you know my full name?" Judah asked in the same hushed tone.

Irritation at the interruption flittered across the Doctor's concentration. "Blame your friend's gob! Now where was I?" He paused darkly, trying to regain the moment. "Oh yes. Now listen."

We waited. The Doctor stared Judah down and murmured, "What kind of food do you have in your kitchen?"

"Doctor!" I cried, disappointed.

"What?" he asked sharply. "I can't get that barbecue out of my head!"

Judah looked from him to me and back, puzzled, and turned to open the fridge. "Uh, grocery day is tomorrow, so we really only have fruit. And Clesto's eaten most of that… except the pears. Clesto eats a lot of food, but he doesn't like pears."

The Doctor made a grotesque face. "I'm with him!"

We finally left Judah's house and began to walk toward the TARDIS, which was parked about a block closer to Judah's house than the place I'd met the Doctor (or would in a week).

"I think I see it at the end of the sidewalk," I announced, starting to walk faster toward the small blue rectangle. Strangely, the Doctor stopped walking altogether. And I froze.

"Is that thunder?" Judah asked.

A summer storm could easily have been brewing. But I heard no thunder, just rumbling words.

"_Deliver the Dhounil and the keeper to the open zone. Deliver the Dhounil and the keeper to the open zone."_

I could understand, but barely, because the words crashed together.

"_Deliver the Dhounil and the keeper to the open zone."_

Under his breath, the Doctor repeated the words for Judah's benefit and added, "They want us to give them Clesto at a certain place; I don't know where or why yet."

"Who's the keeper?" I asked.

"_Deliver the Dhounil and the keeper to the open zone." _

"Ugh, prerecorded messages," the Doctor muttered. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted up, "Oi, don't you ever get tired of hearing your big, ugly voices over and over?"

"_Deliver the Dhounil and the keeper to the open zone." _

"Who is the keeper?" I asked more vehemently.

"Shush, not now!" the Doctor hissed and resumed shouting. "Yeah, I'm talking to you! Want to chat like intelligent, civilized beings? Wait—sorry—I forgot you were Cypriens."

Judah laughed, but I repeated my question.

"In a minute, will ya?" the Doctor said, exasperated. "I'm trying to spark an insult duel!"

"Just tell me!"

"It's Judah, okay? They're calling Judah Clesto's keeper!"

"_Me?_" from Judah. "Why do they want me? Why am I important?"

"I don't know!" the Doctor snapped at us, scowling in frustration. "You tell me, Judah Shepard! What makes you so blasted important?"

"_He showed me kindness and shelter,_" Clesto whispered from inside Judah's hood, which (because of Clesto) shook like a chihuahua on caffeine.

"_Deliver the Dhounil…_"  
"Lily-livered cowards!" the Doctor roared, invigorated by our exchange. "Sending voicemail to do your dirty work!"

The message clicked off.

He started laughing triumphantly. "Ha! They've taken the bait!"

"What _exactly,_" Judah said (noticing the thunder pattern had cut off), "was the point of provoking them?"

"I hate being ignored," the Doctor explained, frowning thoughtfully at the sky. "Hm, that's funny…"

"_Are we going to die now?"_ Clesto asked, peering out with wide-eyes.

"I'm sensing that myself," I said. It got worse. "What's funny?"

"I just remembered a vital piece of information. Cypriens are space travelers. Like the TARDIS, only they do it biologically and can't travel time. I forgot."

"You forgot? You just _forgot?_" I yelped.

Clesto buried himself in the hood, muttering things that from anyone else would have sounded like obscenities.

"We have a few minutes. Cypriens manipulate space…" The Doctor began to gesture, making faces. "…kind of like a really, really fast swimmer manipulates water. If you watch closely, you'll see the atmosphere sort of wiggle. That's the direction they're headed."

"We already _know _what direction they're headed!" Judah said, frustrated. He was zipping up his hoodie, and I saw Clesto's tiny red hands trembling on the edge of the hood. "Us!"

The Doctor snapped his fingers. "_That's _why they couldn't find Clesto! You were keeping him indoors—it must muddle their instincts! Fascinating."

"Moving on, Doctor," I said, panic rising in my voice.

The sky began to undulate. "_Deliver the Dhounil, the keeper, and the one with the tongue to us now," _the voice thundered. This time it wasn't recorded, and I could tell that it was several voices in unison.

"Right! Run for the TARDIS!" the Doctor commanded, sprinting off.

"Gladly," Judah said, and I swear we would have followed if the Cypriens hadn't materialized.

If Dhounil were the cuddly red pandas of outer space, Cypriens were crocodiles—upright, shorter-snouted, longer-toothed, slimy-skinned versions of crocodiles. I wanted to gag at the disturbing images. "Ah, you beauty!" the Doctor exhaled over his shoulder (_Is he kidding?_ I thought). "Mind you, a bit bigger than I remembered."

We were moving toward the TARDIS, but at a backwards walk. "There are so few," the Doctor continued. "Only eight. Why?"

"It may not be a lot, but it's more than we can fight," Judah gulped.

"I don't fight," murmured the Doctor.

"Then why aren't we running?" I hissed.

Because the Cypriens hadn't made any moves—just watched us, narrow- and hungry-eyed, lashing their tails. We didn't want to turn our backs on them, and we didn't want to run backwards. The standstill couldn't last.

"Zigzag so that they can't accurately predict where you'll be," the Doctor told us quietly. He grinned and shouted as much to the Cypriens as to us, "We can still have a bit of a chase, mates!"

We ran. One by one, the Cypriens disappeared into waving air.

_I think they're gaining!_ I thought in sheer panic, my heart pounding. Then, _Thank goodness I'm not wearing flip-flops!_

All in an enormous rush, the sun set.

The Cypriens reappeared, faltering in their space manipulations. "The aiwick will appear!" one moaned.

Only one thing about their peculiar distress registered—we had a reprieve, an extra moment. I looked to the Doctor and saw the hope in the determination on his face. He winked.

The Doctor, Judah, and I had nearly completed our retreat down the block when the Cypriens stopped flinching, realizing that whatever they had expected had gone wrong. They made a sound I can only describe as a stupid laugh. But even with this and the near-explosion of my lungs, I started to relax.

The Doctor had just reached the TARDIS when Clesto jerked out of Judah's hood and hit the ground rolling. Like a bird, Judah wheeled around without hesitation, swooped low, and scooped Clesto up against his chest.

I had been right behind the Doctor, but I froze. _They've fallen too far behind. They aren't going to make it in time. _

The Doctor threw open the door. "Come on, Cait! You're almost there!"

"Cait, keep going!" Judah screamed, trying to catch up. He pushed a garbage can and a bike toward the wavy lines in the air, which _thunk_ed audibly against them then melt through them.

"You can't help him by standing there," the Doctor hissed. His eyes were dark, sad.

"We have to somehow!" I cried, struggling as he tried to pull me. "Judah can only hide behind something shorter than he is for so long!"

The Doctor practically threw me in the TARDIS.

I hyperventilated on the floor, aching and desperate. _"Trust me. That needs to be the most important thing to you," _I remembered again. But we were in the TARDIS, Judah wasn't, and the Doctor was shutting the door as he pulled the screwdriver out of his pocket.

"Don't you dare sonic that door," I gasped, lurching upward and smacking the sonic screwdriver out of the Doctor's hand.

"Oi!" he yelped as it rolled across the floor. He reached out to grab me, but too late. I was already half out the door.

Judah tore toward us, Clesto clinging to his back, the air around him distorting. I stretched out my hand and clawed him inside the TARDIS the exact moment a Cyprien hand materialized for the grab. We stumbled backward but didn't fall over. The Doctor slammed the door behind him and sonicked it with his retrieved screwdriver.

"You just saved my life!" Judah squeaked slightly. His hand and mine were sweaty and still tightly linked. My other arm was draped across Clesto on Judah's back.

I had to look away, although I wanted to stare back forever. For the first time, Judah had looked at me as if I was beautiful. I could have almost seen the confusion behind the admiration, as if he was processing, _But it's just Cait._

I didn't feel like "just Cait." I felt lightheaded, swaying. Blood rushed to my head and my vision turned red. I sank to my knees through Judah's arms.

Judah sprang back.

The Doctor reached out. For the second time, he was too late.

**July 25, 2011****, evening **

Blearily, I opened my eyes to discover I was lying uncomfortably on the TARDIS floor. Judah knelt next to me, one of his hands on his knee and the other dangling near my face. As I blinked at him, he propped the latter's elbow on his other knee and rested his chin on his hand, snickering.

"Wha'?" I muttered. My mouth felt full of marbles, but I forced it to re-form my words. "What happened?" I asked, like a lame Frodo stereotype waking in Rivendell twice.

"You've been out for…" His face scrunched as he looked upward. "Twenty minutes?"

"That would explain my splitting headache," I moaned, trying to sit up. "At least I proved I'm not spineless."

"Let me help." He pulled me by the hand more kindly than gently. His eyes gleamed. "It's the least I can do to make up for letting you hit the floor after you probably saved our lives. Clesto's and mine, that is," he added, glancing over his shoulder at the Doctor.

I smiled, this time at his addition of "probably," but not for long. If only that had been the instance that had killed him on my timeline; my work would be done. "Were you worried about me?" I teased, my boldness startling.

Judah thought for a moment, rubbing his nose and answering seriously. "No. The Doctor pointed his sonic at you and said you were fine."

"Ooh, the 'sonic,' is it? So you two are on a first name basis?"

Judah grinned.

I straightened. "You really weren't worried, not at all?"

"Nope."

"Not the teensiest bit? I mean, near death experience here, I got knocked out, and nothing?"

"You weren't knocked out. You fainted," he corrected in his laughter-stirred voice.

I made a face. "Let's stick with knocked out."

"Fainted."

"Knocked out!"

"Doctor," Judah called over his shoulder.

"Fainted, definitely," the Doctor agreed, leaving the console. He came up to us, leaning on the rail with one hand.

I felt my soul shrink. _I didn't trust him the way I should have. _"You would have gone back for him," I whispered. "I'm sorry, Doctor."

"Well, you should be. You were an idiot. But still…You gave me less work, in the end." He stopped and looked at me almost admiringly.

Then I noticed that Clesto hung to his coattails, chattering almost happily, _"Thank you, Kay. Thank you."_

"I can understand him now, by the way," Judah said, catching my smile reappear.

"How? Have we gone somewhere?" I asked, embarrassed.

"No, but the TARDIS can translate for him now regardless," the Doctor answered for him.

"Then, we haven't gone anywhere," I said, confused. "Are they—the Cypriens—still out there?"

"Yes," the Doctor answered quietly, crouching beside Judah. "If I try to travel through space, they'll come with us. They're that kind of creature."

"How would they know where to follow us?" Judah asked.

"It's simple enough," the Doctor began.

"Hint: don't ask him for the details," I interrupted to Judah in a stage whisper.

The Doctor stopped with a sigh. "You know what, never mind."

Judah smiled crookedly. "He said they can't follow through time, so I tried to bribe him into jumping just a few seconds forward, but…"

The Doctor returned the grin. "This timeline is tangled enough. Besides, then they'd just wait a few seconds, and voila! They have us again."

"So we're stuck here to wait them out," I said glumly. Then I shivered.

The Doctor put a hand on my shoulder. "The TARDIS is locked, so they can't get in—she was grown with aliens in mind—but, believe me, they all try."

"So would I, if I were them," Judah admitted.

"But I don't understand one thing, Doctor," I said. "Well, maybe not just one, but you know what I mean. Why are they so set on killing Clesto?"

"You may be terrible at following orders, but you ask good questions," the Doctor said. "Let me tell you why. I—" He stopped and made some popping sounds with his lips. "Hm. I don't know."

Clesto gulped. "_We… the Dhounil… confuse Cypriens' sense of direction. They still try to chase us, but they lose their way, can't find us."_

"So why didn't that happen when they were chasing us?" I asked.

"Yes, yes, of course," the Doctor said over me, stroking his chin. "It's true. By instinct they manipulate aiwick radiation. During the day, too, but especially at night. It's why the Cypriens were so distressed by nightfall. But it never affected the Cypriens before. Haven't your peoples been at peace for centuries?"

"_The Cypriens discovered how to move faster, how to grow larger, but it made them vulnerable to us. They desire to rule an empire on our planet; we became a threat. So they hunt us… even across the universe."_

"Genocide," the Doctor muttered, his eyes burning. "And the empire must be pretty well built, since they didn't think Clesto worth more than eight hunters."

"_I do not know where my family are scattered, but they could not help me," _Clesto said, burying his head in his skin. "_But I think the open zone will leave me helpless, and once they take me, it will be of no use._"

"They need the open zone because they can't catch him otherwise. Don't worry Clesto, you won't be alone," said the Doctor. "We'll be with you." But his eyebrows creased, as if to say, _I'm missing something!_

"Judah," he said, startling me, "come with me. We need to talk."

I heard Judah let out a deep breath as he rose. They left the console room.

I occupied myself with Clesto: tickling his belly, massaging his skin, which, apart from the coloration and cold dryness, was much like a human's. We babbled back and forth. Fundamentally, the young Dhounil was an extraterrestrial lost puppy. When comfortable, he responded with the same eagerness to play and need for attention. My culture shock settled a bit.

At length, my friends returned to the console room. My heart lifted and beat faster.

Whatever had passed between them seemed to have put them on better terms. They stopped to stare at Clesto and me—Judah with such an intent Doctorish expression that my heart paused.

Clesto's ears stood straight up, and he half-loped, half-tumbled to Judah's leg.

Judah's seriousness broke as he chuckled. "Have you been having fun, you lug from outer space?"

"We've had a lovely time," I said, standing. "You'd be surprised how peaceful the TARDIS is when _he's_ not around." I playfully jabbed my thumb at the Doctor.

"Occupational hazard," the Doctor said, as the TARDIS rocked dangerously. Clesto whimpered, and I lunged for a hold on the rail.

"Speak of the devil," I said, shaking from the violent reminder we were being watched.

"_Will they take us_?" Clesto asked the Doctor, scampering to his shoulder from Judah's like a squirrel.

"No," said the Doctor. "And I'll figure out why not in a minute."

We started playing cards to pass the time. You would think the games that an alien time traveler collects over the centuries would be highly entertaining, but I found myself dozing off and trying to tune out the Doctor. He chattered to his hearts' content, fascinating Judah.

To the Doctor's disgust and eventual quitting, Judah won every match we played. After that, Judah and I lapsed into inactivity. Dreamy-eyed, Judah smiled to himself as if having the time of whatever life he had remaining. And I had to admit, spending time with Judah delighted me, if eerily. _Spending time with a ghost. How hopeless. But, no, _I corrected myself, sleepily but still with conviction. _The Doctor will save him. _

And I really liked the Doctor, too. But not so much the running we had done. Yawning, I pulled my knees under my chin. "It is so weird to end up being bored tonight," I said. "You too?"

"Hm?" His nose and mouth twitched as he looked up, the glassiness leaving his eyes. "Am I what?"

"Bored."

"I was thinking."

I waited a couple of seconds. "About what?"

"The Doctor."

"_What_ do you think of him?"

He spoke as if stifling laughter. "He's awesome!"

"Isn't he though?" I giggled back.

Then Judah's smile faded hesitantly. "But, he's lonely."

I started, his admission of his thoughts surprising me more than the statement.

My friend looked at me almost embarrassedly, his eyes self-consciously shifting around my face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I blurted, unwittingly diverting the conversation. "Do you think I'm going to make fun of you?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," he said, beginning to smile.

I stared at him hard. "Judah, I try never to make fun of you when you seriously speak your mind." Under my breath I added, "Goodness knows you rarely do."

As happens to many worthwhile conversations, the Doctor interrupted.

"Oi, you lot! I know why Clesto's ability to confuse the Cyprien didn't work during our chase. It has to feed off aiwick, and you just have stars! You'd think we'd all have figured it out sooner, but think about it. Why would the Cypriens use walls on their planet? They must have thought that Clesto was hiding himself with the aiwick radia—" The Doctor paused mid-word. "Oh, were you two busy?"

"Uh… no," I said.

"Not at all," said Judah.

He raised an eyebrow, as if to sarcastically say, "Oh, really?" I felt my face get warm and looked away.

"Well, get some sleep," he said, sounding almost preoccupied. "Especially you, Caitlin. You've lived two days together."

I rose and slipped away without a word, because I couldn't think of any. Finally I thought of some, but they were for the TARDIS. "I wish I could explore you," I whispered.

Apparently sleep had already been taunting my subconscious, because I was out before my thoughts could finish my sen…

* * *

A/N: My heart has a special room for reviewers, and the door is wide open. Won't you come in?


	4. Four: Death Day

_How can a person feel homesick at home? Can someone leave and taken home with them? Can they ever come home again? What if they're dead?_

Four: Death Day

**July 26, 2011****, morning**

Time passed normally outside the TARDIS, and when late morning came I woke to the Doctor rattling my bedroom door with an energetic, "They're gone!"

I discovered Clesto's hairless body nestled in the crook of my arm. "Aw, cute," I murmured. Moving slowly to let Clesto sleep, I tiptoed after the Doctor into the console room.  
The Doctor, wearing thick-rimmed glasses he probably didn't need, gave the news to Judah, who had apparently slept on one end of the console, awkwardly bent with his head half on the panel and half on his shoulder, arching his back. I wondered why he had slept nearly on the control panel when I had had no bother finding a bedroom clean and furnished. The TARDIS probably had forty.

He rolled his shoulders as if shaking off a nightmare. I heard his bones crack as he stood and disbelievingly asked, "They're _gone?_ Why would they go?"

"We're at a stalemate, mate." The Doctor stopped, smiling. "Oh, I quite like that. 'A stalemate, mate.' We won't go out because we don't want to repeat last night. But really we can't do anything else, you know. And they think they need Clesto to be at the open zone. Even though they seemed to have the advantage, they knew we could outlast them in a siege. And we'll go because we have to face off sometime. So," surmised the Doctor, "they've given us until tonight to parcel up their package and deliver to the open zone."

"Why tonight?" I asked.  
"I'm just inferring that it's tonight because… Well, that's where they and Judah were when he…"  
"Died," finished Judah.

The Doctor's jaw tightened, along with the ache in my heart. I shot Judah a concerned look, but his face was impassive. "Yes, I know, and I really don't mind. Can we get on with it?"

"There has to be something in this situation that we can use," the Doctor muttered, pacing around the console, "some weakness the Cypriens haven't noticed. They don't know the surprises your puny planet can pack—they didn't know it had no aiwick, after all. So there must be something…"

"Maybe something about the open zone itself?" Judah suggested. "Location, environment…"

God flicked a switch on my brain. "Doctor!" I cried in the burst of inner light. "Two times you've landed here: when we met a week from now and yesterday afternoon. But the TARDIS didn't actually land on the open zone—"

"Where I died—" Judah contributed.

"—either time." He and I shared a lit-up look.

The Doctor froze. Then he whirled toward his, his heels throwing sparks. "You're brilliant, you know!"

He hugged Judah around the shoulders and quickly kissed my forehead. Neither of us found this awkward, coming from the Doctor. He babbled on, "Both of you! Like Spock and Uhura in Star Trek 2009!"

Judah's face turned crimson.

"And the Doctor scores zero for tact," I said. Judah gave me a two-second stare and burst into laughter. I blushed in surprise, but I also smiled.

"Wait, you saw Star Trek?" we asked together.

"The 2012 sequel wasn't half-bad either," the Doctor replied. "Well, I _say_ not half bad; I mean decent—We-ell, I _say _decent—it's—it's—it's—Maybe you should save your money for the film with David Tennant."

"David Tennant!" Judah exclaimed. "_That's _the actor you look like!"

We all paused, trying to get back on track. "So what we said was significant?" I asked hopefully.

"Listen," he commanded, as if we'd been ignoring him to chat about the weather. "I could only land the TARDIS within the _neighborhood _of my destination. It's a blatant space malfunction, and the TARDIS doesn't malfunction unless someone interferes."

I thought I might be catching on. "_And_ you had to land the TARDIS a week late and a day early! That's a time malfunction, right?"

The Doctor looked embarrassed. "No, actually, that was just me. If I ever tell you I'm good at flying her to specific points, shoot me. No, no, don't shoot me! Be polite: point and laugh. Anyway, don't you see?"

"Um…"

"Remember what I said last night about Clesto's powers not working anyway because of stars instead of aiwick? Well, that same supplement of astronomical bodies for the radiation of aiwick on Earth emits, or actually produces, a hyperbolic quality in certain areas. Even though the non-radiation can't feed Dhounilian powers, in areas of negative foci for incendiary materials within Earth's solar system, they operate the same way so that—theoretically—" Believe it or not, he got faster here—"it _could_ affect the prey, but the substitution of aiwick for stars and the biological tweaks in the Cypriens' systems will dilute the Cypriens instead! The TARDIS could only have been affected because of Clesto's proximity, of course. Oh, brilliant!"

That didn't even merit an "um." Judah's eyes slid sideways at the same moment mine did. I shrugged expressively, mouthing, "_You're_ smart. Did you get that?"

Judah started to nod but paused and shook his head, eyes twinkling.

The Doctor sighed, dejected. "Right, humans. Forgot you only use ten percent of your brain capacity." He pouted.

"Hold the phone," interrupted Judah. Hearing him use the cliché was weird. "Doctor, aren't _you_ human?"

The Doctor and I stared. "Did _you _ever miss the tutorial. My out-of-your-galaxy wisdom never clued you in?" To me: "How do I sum up everything I told you?"

"He has two hearts," I told Judah.

"Yes! Two hearts and a binary vascular system!"

Judah opened his mouth to speak, but—

"And no, 'binary vascular system' is _not_ just a fancy way to say 'two hearts' again. A binary vascular system supports my hearts; quite useful actually, and I'm very attached to it. Still, you're missing the point, and you're thick! Oh yes, you are, but you're also brilliant. The open zone is non-manipulable. _Cypriens won't be able to space-travel there._"

We paused.

"Whoohoo!" I shouted.

"Nailed it!" Judah high-fived the Doctor and me. "Do they know?"

The Doctor grinned at us goofily as if his life never got better than watching teenagers have giddied "eureka" moments. "They wouldn't want to meet there if they did. It can't affect Clesto's ability since he can't use it anyway, but they'll be at a huge disadvantage. The creatures are huge, but that's the very thing that will let the open zone affect them. And how often do they travel on foot or in transport?"

"Won't they realize that they don't need the open zone because there aren't any aiwick to fuel Clesto's camouflage?"

"I wasn't kidding when I said Cypriens are dumb. Next to them, humans look Time Lord. It's their sheer power that gives them advantage."

"Again, with the human bashing…" My smile must have ruined the effect of the muttering. "So what are we waiting for?"

"Oh, _you're _not coming," Judah said, eyes suddenly cold.

I blinked at him, uncomprehending.

"If this kills me, I'm supposed to let _you _come?" he explained with a slight edge of bittersweet-ness. So much for his not acting the Disney prince.

To my surprise and displeasure, the Doctor agreed. "Judah, we've gone over this: they're not going to kill you. Caitlin, you're staying here."

I found myself shifting my stare between two shades of fierce brown eyes. "Oh, come on," I moaned. "You two can't be serious! I _have _to come!"

Judah shook his head, as I had seen him do once or twice when too vehement for words. Neither of those times had he been _this _worked up._ Intense _was my only coherent thought at the time.

"You're staying here," the Doctor repeated slowly, fixing me with an icy stare, "in the TARDIS, where it's safe. And you can't use the paradox as an excuse this time, because it's irrelevant."

I went rigid. "Stop telling me to stay in the TARDIS or to stay in the house or to stay away from danger!" I shouted. "_I'm _Caitlin the Idiot who signed her life away on a napkin, not either of you!"

"You did _what?_" from Judah.

"You're sixteen—the youngest of us—" from the Doctor.

"It's… It's a long story," I told Judah.

"—and I'm in charge of you, so…" (The Doctor.)

"And we're sitting in a _time _machine." (Judah.)

"Who says the paradox isn't relevant?" I said to the Doctor, then to Judah: "On the door… you'll see it." And back to the Doctor: "I'm sure you've had sixteen-year-old…"

"Companions."

"…before."

"Well, yes." He looked down and seemed to be in pain. "And she died."

I fell silent, swallowing, and looked over my shoulder. Judah's eyes widened as he studied the napkin, his folded hands behind his back tightening.

I looked back into the Doctor's eyes. "I'm sorry. But that's a risk I decided to take before we left."

Judah walked back up and shook his head a good deal before finally murmuring, "Wow."

My heart flip-flopped; he sounded dazed, but impressed.

"Can we leave Clesto instead of Cait?" Judah asked next. I watched his eyes rest protectively on the small alien. He muttered, "He deserves to be safe, too."

_The keeper, _I thought. _That's what it means for him to be Clesto's keeper. _The Doctor had explained it, but now it stuck.

The Doctor's dark, sad look deepened. Judah and I both knew then that we would need Clesto with us.

Judah changed the subject quickly. "Can we go? If not, I'm going back to sleep."

We popped Clesto back in Judah's hood. It was just another one of life's little miracles that Judah could stand to wear it in the weather outside. The Doctor threw open the TARDIS door, and sunlight poured in.

Blinking, I waved to the sun as we left the TARDIS. Something about feeling free after a long night, and being with the Doctor, and winning an argument with him, makes a person want to.

_The way I figure_, I thought,_ we have most of the day to pass. We should think of a plan._

I reasonably assumed that the Doctor would do the thinking until he walked into the nearest clothing store, insistent on buying a new suit.

"It'll be a formal showdown," he persisted. "The time and place are all set. You two can look as though you spent the night in a box, but I have to make an impression. What do you think, blue?" He held a suit against himself for examination.

"Same color as the box we spent the night in," Judah commented dryly.

One blue suit sold to the tall alien with the hair. "Nice Chucks," the cashier told the Doctor on our way out.

By the time we were in and out, it was mid-afternoon. We got a bite to eat at a fast food restaurant (where the Doctor got the money I have no idea). We wanted to sit inside with the air conditioning, but the Doctor led us to an outdoor table.

As soon as the Doctor opened his plastic bag, he cried out in dismay. "They gave me _crisps_!"

"Maybe that's because you ordered chips," Judah grinned. "We call them fries here."

"Not in the future, you don't." The Doctor's face was sour. "In the twenty-second century, _everyone_ calls them chips!" He pushed the bag away. "I need fruit."

"Fries aren't fruit no matter what you call them," I said.

"I thought you didn't like fruit," Judah said at the same time.

"Pears," he corrected, standing. "Peaches, though—I'd like to try peaches. BRB." He wheeled back toward us. "Also, I never asked—what year is it?"

I smiled. "2011."

"Huh, I've skipped forward!"

"Um, you're a time traveler," Judah said. "Remember: Cait met you next week; TARDIS; twenty-second century chips?"  
"Yeah yeah, but in this century I tend to go consecutively. I hope I don't run into a future me. Of course, the easy way to take care of that is to remember this when I _am _a future me and stay away. Oh, I hope I'll be ginger!"

"Ginger means redheaded, right?" I asked.

"Twen-tee-_eeeeeeee_-lev-in," the Doctor mused, ignoring me. "They do say BRB in 2011, don't they?"

"Yes," I said.

"Good. BRB."

The Doctor reappeared a minute later seemingly without any kind of fruit. He squinted up at the sky beyond the roofs of the city going into the suburbs. "Ooh, would you take a look at those clouds. It's definitely going to rain tonight. More than rain. It'll be a thunderstorm."

I threw up my hands. "Of course it will!"

Judah grinned. "Does the weather always play into your schemes?"

"Never once," said the Doctor bitterly.

Judah watched the clouds twist across the sky in the distance. "This is my favorite kind of weather, you know."

"How very ironic," said the Doctor. He turned briskly, coat flaring. "Can you lead us to the open zone, Caitlin?"

"Sure," I said.

I noticed the Doctor had his eyes fixed behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed that Judah seemed pale.

"You okay?" I asked.

"When it comes to it," he confessed, "it may be… disturbing to see the place I'll die."

"_Won't _die," the Doctor said. The response sounded too automatic to me. "It'll be a victory. Think about that."

For the first time since meeting the Doctor, I didn't believe him. I just had a gut feeling that, this time, we would share no laughter and no going back. It would hurt and kill Judah. Time machine or no, Judah was doomed.

**July 26, 2011****, nighttime **

Rain pelted on our heads, only visible in the streetlights. No one but the Doctor, I, and Judah and Clesto, in that order, were on the streets to shiver in it.

Oh, and the Cypriens, who bared their teeth every time it thundered. I remembered that Judah said their language had sounded like thunder. Maybe the Cypriens were hearing a message; I hoped it screamed, "Leave _now_ and _never_ come _back_!"

"Real thunder," commented the Doctor in a relaxed way, stuffing his wet hands in his wet pockets. "That's a bit of a change."

Sure, the Cypriens had reacted badly to their inability to space jump. Despite all our meanderings that day, however, they had gotten there first, so we had found them already griping and arguing among themselves in the dead of night.

"What are we waiting for, Doctor?" I asked.

"Absolutely nothing," he said. "I expected them to start ranting about their evolution and empire or whatnot, but they're being surprisingly—opaque."

"So you have no idea what to do?" Judah asked, absentmindedly stroking Clesto's ears.

"I didn't say that," snapped the Doctor, wiping rain out of his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. And suddenly he sucked in breath. "No."

I turned my head instinctively and felt instead of saw Judah do the same.

"Look back," the Doctor said softly. "I should have seen it before… but the rain… Count the Cypriens."

The scaly forms wavered in the wet lamplight. I blinked, forcing them to focus. _One, two, three…_

"Seven?" I asked.

"There were eight before," Judah realized.

"Ex-act-ly," over-enunciated the Doctor, looking at us from the corner of his eye. "So where's he now? Eh?"

I should have held still or backed up discreetly, following the Doctor's deliberate example.

But I whirled around and saw a form on its belly scraping toward—

"Judah, Clesto, look out!" I shrieked. "It's right behind—"

While the Doctor ran for the Cyprien and fell just once second behind, Clesto leapt out of Judah's arms in terror and scrambled to the side and up a streetlight.

The form of the eighth Cyprien swung toward me, snapping its jaws and rising on its hind legs. I stumbled back, frantic to get away from the swipe, but fell hard in the torrent. I landed on my arm and collapsed on my back, knocking the wind from my lungs.

I couldn't even scream. The Doctor's footsteps seemed to pound through the thunder toward me. But Judah had been right next to me, and the same moment the Cyprien arrived, he pulled me up, shoving me toward Clesto.

I tripped over the curb and back against Clesto's streetlight. It was slippery with rain, but I managed to catch it for support. I only saw a blur as the Cyprien plowed Judah through toward the seven decoys.

The Cyprien's claw had caught Judah's neck. The alien's fingers, if you could call them that, tightened just slightly, and Judah made a strangled noise. And that's when I saw it. Judah would be murdered saving Caitlin the Idiot, who signed her best friend's life away with a scream. I had chosen B.

But I hadn't counted on the flashing-eyed, tight-jawed Time Lord a second behind the rest of us. The Doctor's run slowed to a menacing stride toward the Cypriens, allowing them that far and no farther.

The Cyprien hadn't quite reached his companions. It may not have been able to space jump, but it lashed its tail and swayed its head in an unnerving rhythm. Somehow, even through the rain in his own, the Doctor could still lock gazes with its slitted, crocodilian eyes.

"Just breathe, Caitlin," he said, taking my bleeding arm and easing me onto the curb. "I may have hundreds of years on you, but I'll be the last person to let you lose what I lost." Heartbreaking love filled his eyes as he turned from me.

"Oh. Oh," I gasped out and in, not daring to meet Judah's wide eyes. Clesto hesitantly laid his tiny wet hands on one of mine.

"_I will crush his throat,"_ growled the Cyprien holding Judah's neck. The other seven came into a V behind him, looking proud and conquering and invincible.

"Oi, no farther!" the Doctor shouted over the storm. "Put Judah down."

"_He is the keeper."_

"Yes, we've established that." The Doctor pushed his hands into his dripping llama-like hair. "I think your brains shrunk as your bodies grew, because they don't seem to have the thing that made him the keeper. A child of one species noticed a child of another world, lost and afraid, and took him in instead of hunting him! Doesn't that make you the least bit suspicious you've lost something?"

"_Do not try your tongue on us. We will surrender the keeper only for the last free Dhounil."_

The Doctor blanched, although his expression remained hard as a cliff face. "The last free? Or the last alive?"

"Judah's" Cyprien seemed to laugh, a slithery, wet sound. Clesto howled, an unearthly, hollow sound. And Judah began to choke, the worst sound in the universe to me.

"All right, all right, stop it!" the Doctor shouted. The Cyprien's fist relaxed, and Judah sputtered to breathe. "Think, you huge lumps of sinew. Try to use whatever is left of the peace-lovers before they got greedy and their friends burned them like poison. Because now you have a human life literally in your hands. You've never seen anything like him before! And what do you do? Question him, snap a photo, ask for autographs? No. You're ready to kill him." The Doctor paused and said almost inaudibly, "What _has _become of you?"

"_Deliver the Dhounil for the keeper!_" the lead Cyprien snapped.

The Doctor turned to me. Not until he held out his hands did I realize how Clesto still clung to the front of my shirt.

"Doctor, no," Judah gasped.

The Doctor's eyes were still on me. _Who am I here to protect?—For Judah, for Judah, for Judah—But Clesto is a person. How can the Doctor sacrifice either?_

My eyes stinging more than my arm, I staggered back to my feet with Clesto in one arm. "Don't make me choose this, Doctor," I whispered.

"Trust me," he said. _Do as I say. That needs to be most important…_

In a heart-wrenching movement, I pried Clesto off and dropped him in the Doctor's hands. In another second it was over: the Cypriens practically dropped Judah into my arms, and the lead Cyprien caught Clesto in his tail.

"Cait," Judah said, voice thick with horror and disbelief. Slime dripped along his neck, where the Cyprien's claw had clenched. "They'll kill him."

The Doctor had turned to us, but now he spun around to face the Cypriens again. "About that, Cypriens. You don't want to kill Clesto, and I mean you _really _want Clesto or any other living Dhounil. You can't teleport out of the open zone, so I suggest you listen to me."

"_Why should we?_"

"Because." The Doctor took a peach out of his pocket, bit into it, and spit it out, hacking pieces off his tongue. "I hate peaches too!—I'm the Doctor. I have saved and taken more lives than you could count in a lifetime. And I'm about to give you a choice that will put you in one group or the other.

"One, you can return to your planet now and be the masters you desire to be _with this provision_—that you Cypriens will be stewards of Clesto and whatever of his kin remain. Scrap this idea about wiping them out and take a look at yourselves. As stewards, you wouldn't have to hunt anyone across the universe, always tired and them always afraid. You would take care of them, restore them, give them back their freedom, and nurture them. And they'd return the favor. You were people once and could be again.

"Two…" And his voice turned from hopeful to dark. "You can die here and now."

The lead Cyprien moved so quickly I jumped forward, fearing he'd snap off the Doctor's head. What my little hand could have done I don't know, but the Cyprien didn't touch him. "_With what do you threaten us?"_ He laughed wetly again.

"You've put yourselves in jeopardy!" The Doctor took a step forward, chest to chest with the Cyprien holding Clesto in its tail. He scraped his hand along the scales, and two or three clattered to the ground.

The lead Cyprien didn't blink, but several behind him put their hackles up in what seemed to be horror.

"It started with this evolution lark Clesto kept mentioning," the Doctor said. "At the same time you grew larger and stronger, the Dhounil's aiwick absorption started to give you a species-wide headache. Well, this planet has no aiwick, and the longer you stay here, the more it will damage you because of the changes in your biology. You've felt it, haven't you? In fact, you're so far gone now that if you don't head right back to Juhlik—that is your planet, right?—if you even want to survive.

"But that won't be enough. You've already manufactured these changes. Want to know why having Dhounil seems to hurt you? Throws off your steering, eh? Some pain is good. The way they absorb the radiation is trying to reverse the changes you made. The Dhounil are inadvertently trying to heal you! You haven't evolved—you've become diseased. Dhounilian aiwick radiation is the cure, but only if you bring them back to your world, to the aiwick.

"Once you recover completely, the Dhounil'll no longer affect you again. You wanted an empire: you're going to get it, but so differently."

"And only if they're still alive," I said, more boldly than I could have expected.

"And only," Judah added, his voice hard with anger, "if they agree after what you've done."

The Doctor's eyes slid toward us just for a second, and I imagined he seemed proud.

"_How do you know this?_"

"I told you." He seemed taller than the Cypriens now, and so dark. No offhand comments about peaches coming now. "I'm the Doctor. And I'm, let's be honest, brilliant."

I had to admit it: the blue suit did look dashing.

"And just because I'm so brilliant, and so very extremely kind—" I found this chillingly ironic—"I'll tell you the smart choice: _One. _Think about it. I could have let you die in agony in… oh, about an hour. And believe me, I could have stalled that long. But I'm giving you this chance, this one chance. Use your puny brains and take it."

Next, a miracle.

The lead Cyprien nodded slightly. He turned his head. _"The Doctor with the tongue speaks wisely."_

"_Commander!"_ protested another wet, bubbly voice, this one feminine.

He hissed, whirling on her, _"I do not want our empire to die! Nothing is worth that."_

"Ohhh," said the Doctor, voice gentle but eyes fierce. "There are _so _many things worth dying for, Commander. Genocide is the opposite."

The Cyprien commander unwrapped his tail from around Clesto's huddled form. _"Dhounil cub, tell me if you will attempt to convince your people to restore us."_

"_My people?" _Clesto stopped speaking, straightened. _"Are they alive?"_

"A_nd well on Juhlik, unless my orders have been disobeyed."_

The female officer bowed her head. "_No one disobeys Commander Voi. Right?"_ She snapped her head, fixing the other six Cypriens with a stare.

Resolutely, they lashed their tails in unison. _"Always."_

Cautiously, Clesto took a step away from Commander Voi (and into a puddle, but he didn't seem to notice). Voi's claw tightened at his side, but he made no move to stop the Dhounil. Clesto ran for Judah's feet.

"_I must," _he said, just loudly enough to hear. _"I must if my family lives."_

I caught a strange expression flit across Voi's face and realized it was hope.

"I understand," Judah said, and his entire body language showed what he was saying. "I don't trust them. Be careful."

Clesto's painted face grinned. "_Keeper. Finally we can understand one another, and—this."_

"Hey, you want aiwick." Judah crossed his arms. "I'll miss you."

Clesto opened his mouth to say more, but Voi interrupted impatiently, "_You will help us?"_

"_Yes,"_ Clesto answered, his firmness stunningly different from the puppy I had viewed him as. He fixed his eyes on the "Dokker." _"Thank you. And Kay."_

"Ah, no problemo—Ugh, never again," the Doctor said. His instant nonchalance unbalanced me. He turned to the Cypriens. "Commander Voi, how do you plan to reunite Clesto with his family? He can't space jump—besides, we're in the open zone."

"_Once we have left the open zone, we plan to use this."_

Voi produced a contraption that reminded me startlingly of a pet carrier, but large enough for (I assumed) an adult Dhounil. I wondered briefly where Voi had stashed it until then, but the rain kept me from seeing. The Doctor took his sonic screwdriver out his pocket, aimed it at the bars of the carrier, and turned it on. With clicking noises, they fell off.

The Doctor pocketed the screwdriver. "Clesto is your charge. Good guardians do not cage their charges."

Suprisingly, a Cyprien laughed. Commander Voi gave him/her a stern look.

"_I don't want to get in until we've left the open zone,"_ Clesto said. He and Voi started haggling like old friends over take-offs and landing points.

The Doctor redirected his attention to us human teenagers. "Their space-jump should be a strong enough blip on the radar to send me packing for a Dhounil."

"A week late," Judah said. Obviously he had picked up some information.

The Doctor shrugged. "My mate Jane once wrote, 'Think of past only as its remembrance gives you pleasure.'" His tone was light, and his eyes alone showed how hard he found following this advice.

"You said the Dhounil you picked up was alone," I said, finally having worked out what he was talking about. It was late, okay?

"Have you seen any other Clestos running about? Didn't think so."

"Why didn't you pick up the Cypriens?" Judah asked.

The Doctor wiggled his fingers mysteriously. "Oh, disease, lots of yucky DNA rearranging going on. Same reason the open zone wouldn't recognize them, I imagine. Besides, nothing unusual about catching a Cyprien space-jumping. A Dhounil space-jumping, on the other hand…" He shrugged.

"Seeya, Clesto," I said, hugging myself in the rain. "Except, I guess we won't."

I thought I saw him smile as he and Cypriens began to scamper and slither into the darkness. They would leave the open zone in peace. How often did something like this happen to a girl?

I sighed, and the three of us who were left turned to walk back to the TARDIS. Judah's neighborhood was in the opposite direction Clesto and the Cypriens had taken. Only the Doctor didn't look back.

* * *

Author's note: You like? Review!


	5. Five: Nothing against Fairytales

_I found my answer. Anyone can come home. Always. _

Five: Nothing against Fairytales

It hit me harder than hailstones. "Doctor, he's really not going to die today." I had to force myself to keep up with the guys, because my instincts were screaming for me to drop and cry myself to sleep for joy. "Oh, you were brilliant."

"I was, wasn't I?" the Doctor said complacently, spinning around as he walked so that his coat sprayed water. "Mind you, not as high-scale as some of my adventures—to be honest, most of them—but did you hear that speech? Hearts-wrenching with a dash of Oncoming Storm!"

"Okay, the speech was good," I admitted. _Get a grip,_ I shook myself. Even now I don't know if I did start crying because of the rain in my face.

"There are only eight of them," Judah said. "What if it's not enough to start a revolution?"

"I've done what I can. What they do after this isn't up to me. Remember, there are lots of Dhounil. Even a few Cypriens on their side give them a huge advantage—especially that commander. Of course—" in the dark, the Doctor's white grin was startling—"the best part is that the disease isn't a bluff, so if they commit suicide if they turn back."

"The Dhounil are free either way," I marveled. "But you spared the Cypriens too."

"When did you figure out about the disease?" Judah asked.

I wondered if I was just imagining that the Doctor sounded a little guilty: "When we were in the TARDIS. I was about to tell you when you and Judah interrupted about whether we were letting you come or not."

"You could have come back to that sooner!"

He pulled a face made more grotesque by rain and darkness. "And brave the awkward silence that inevitably follows when you backtrack during a conversation with a teenager?"

"So that was why we needed Clesto with us. And why you spent the day shopping. You already had a plan." Judah's tone was not favorable.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said, but overall in a high good humor. "It wasn't the time."

"And I suppose a Time Lord would… Oh, there's the TARDIS!" I interrupted myself.

The Doctor sighed happily, taking longer strides. "By the way, Judah, your neck will probably bruise. Wear a scarf."

"Uh, it's almost August! Do aliens not feel heat or something?" Judah laughed.

"Scarf or a brilliant cover story for the folks. Take your pick."

Judah choked on the breath he was taking and did a furious facepalm. "My _parents!_ I've been gone since yesterday afternoon!"

I watched this exchange with interest. "The note you left?" I suggested mildly.

"I said I was going to shoot hoops at the park! You really think they won't notice something?"

I squinted into the dark, hoping the rain would inspire a solution Judah would be incredibly impressed with. "I've got nothin'," I shrugged.

The Doctor just grinned and unlocked the TARDIS door.

**July 25, 2011****, evening **

We came out of the TARDIS, right in front of Judah's house. It was less dark and no longer raining. A few blocks away, yesterday's us were running for their lives from the Cypriens.

"_Now _I just have to avoid myself for a day and explain how I got soaking wet when we won't have a storm for a day." Judah laughed. "Time travel. _Amazing._" He stared at his door for a moment. "I'm going to have trouble playing down how happy I am to be home."

"'Dangerous mission with the Doctor is redundant,'" I murmured.

The Doctor had taken the napkin from the inside of the TARDIS door. "Here!" The Doctor brandished the napkin and stuck it to Judah's forehead. Judah blew at it, then plucked it off to look. "Give that to Caitlin the Idiot—"  
"Hey!" I laughed.

"Well, give that to Caitlin here—or rather Caitlin who _isn't_ here—at the party next week. Tell her a little about me, about no one remembering your death because it didn't happen. Remember, she won't have met me yet."

Processing. Processing. _Click! _ "So I had the napkin because he gave it to me," I asked the Doctor, putting my hands in my pockets, "and he had it because I gave it to him, because he had given it to me… Wait, how exactly did that work?" Judah and I smiled at each other when we realized we had echoed the last sentence almost perfectly.

"Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey," the Doctor replied.

"Thank you, Doctor," Judah said abruptly and somewhat stiffly. But the frank relief and gratitude in his syrup-colored eyes made my heart skip like a scratched CD. Fingering the napkin lightly, he stared at me with narrowed eyes.

"On which cue, we leave again." The Doctor went back into the TARDIS.

"What possessed you to write it in the first place?" Judah burst out. "Right down to the bit about a time paradox!"

This time I had an answer. "This," I said, motioning to all of him. "This is worth it." _This _was why I had been willing to risk my life, even though I had been unable to tell my grandmother or the Doctor. It wasn't just the value of a life, although the Doctor would have counted that enough.

He looked—nervous? vulnerable? uncertain? Different somehow, but I was different too. His eyes were sincere and completely locked on mine.

"You're welcome," I ventured.

Judah hesitated, as if trying to regulate his thoughts. "You're bright, Cait. And brave. I'm not trying to _thank _you, I'm trying to…"

I tilted my head. It felt as if he was taking hours to finish.

"Oh, dangit," he muttered, looking away. "Don't you ever wonder why I'm careful when you're nice to me? When I don't answer, it's because I don't want to read too much into…"

"Caitlin! We don't have all night! Well, technically we do—"

"Doctor, I'm busy!" I called.

Judah squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. "Never mind, Cait. I'll see you in a week."

"Five minutes, tops," I said, smiling at my feet.

"For you, maybe," Judah retorted. He raised his hand, a half-hearted wave goodbye.

"Remember, tell me about the _brown_ suit and coat_, not_ the blue," I said with a wink just before the Doctor yanked me inside.

"Want your head caught in the TARDIS door as I take off?"

I stifled a giggle. "I could get an injury that's bigger on the inside!"

The Doctor groaned as the TARDIS began to wheeze and screech. Less than five minutes later, we stepped out the door and into another night.

**August 2, 2011, evening**

I managed another landing with the poise of a Weeble Wobble. (_Weebly-wobbly timey-wimey_ was my first thought on the subject, I'm afraid.) But when I walked out of the TARDIS, I wasn't ready to go. I kept thinking of the big, empty TARDIS, Judah saying the Doctor was lonely, and the hearts-broken love inside the word _lost_.

I said what I was thinking before I realized. "You don't have to let go of your lost one, Doctor. I didn't let go of Judah, and see what happened?"

The Doctor gave me a sharp, startled look. "If I let go of her, this entire reality lets go with me, and I'm _never_ going to lose her that way."

"You haven't always been alone," I murmured.

He closed his eyes, as if trying not to face the obvious emptiness I had conjured. I felt miserable and stupid, but then he opened his eyes and smiled in a way that didn't seem forced. "Mind, just at the moment—" he motioned about and shrugged helplessly. "Would you like to travel with me?"

A grin spread across my face, but I shook my head. "Sorry, but no," I said.

He blinked. "_Another _no to planets that don't exist yet, creatures that never will again, stars giving birth, a dimensionally transcendental box that flies? This is getting embarrassing! Haven't you ever wanted to see America's history? You lot colonize the east, but can you stop when the west is spread out before you? No! You push covered wagons as far as the land will take you, hang the cost! Brilliant! One of the few mysteries of the universe is why you're always villains and idiots on telly..." He trailed off. "Just no?"

I tried to laugh and backed up slowly. "Doctor, after nearly causing Judah's death, I know I've got to be near him. Next time he dies you won't be here, but _I will_… I can't lose him again without fighting again."

I blushed, remembering, "_You're bright, Cait. And brave._ _I'm not trying to thank you, I'm trying to… Don't you ever wonder…?"_

"You're very lucky, you know," the Doctor said in an echoing voice.

"Or very blessed."

"To have met me? Yeah," he said with an eleven-year-old smile. To think, an instant before he'd borne the age of the universe. "London, then. It's London, officially. Lon-don," he said half to himself as he climbed into the TARDIS and patted the doorframe. "Well, _allons_-_y_, old girl."

I started again, "Hey, mister! I didn't say goodbye when I left here, and I can't let you make that mistake—again?"

He pulled a face. "It's not goodbye if I stop for a visit later," he said with the impatience of someone who _didn't _have all the time in the universe in a box.

"Don't come until you _do_ get someone to keep you company, you hear? I want to meet her!" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Sometime along the way I got fond of that screeching. Will you make sure she does it once more?"

"I'll do you one better, just you wait." He stepped back, silhouetted in the doorway of the impossible box, and raised his hand. "Goodbye, Caitlin Joy Cooper."

"Thank you, Doctor. And fare very, very well."

"I intend to." The Doctor closed the door, and I was on the other side. But I knew I was on the side I needed to be.

I stumbled back, my stringy hair blowing in my eyes, as the TARDIS began to screech. I started to giggle as the time machine blinked in and out of existence, each time with a different color glowing around it: green, next pink, next blue, like Christmas tree bulbs. _That alien!_ I thought. _He's still trying to bait me!_

Before the TARDIS completely disappeared, I shuffled into the house through the back door. The knob was still warm, but I had seen a lot since those moments ago… and there was Judah.

I just had enough time to register that Judah's neck was neither bruised nor en-scarfed when he whispered, "I'm glad you're alive. You've only been gone minutes for me, but it only took seconds to realize you might die saving me."

For a moment I thought his breathing sounded fast. "Why did you worry?" I asked. I felt nearly calm, now that I was home. "You were there. You know what happened."

He shrugged, which apparently was all the answer I would get. "I wish I could have told you everything from the start."

"Have you two made up yet?" Paul asked, walking into the room. Paul stopped to examine our faces. "My gosh, you'd think you two have been apart a week instead of a _day,_" Paul said. "And what happened to Cait?"

"What do you mean?" I snapped at the interruption.

"I think he means… well…" Judah waved down my body. I was dripping on the carpet, I realized, and my hair was a rat's nest.

"You're soaking!" Paul said, wide-eyed.

"Uh… took a wrong turn in the bathroom?" I tried. Oh, honestly, did I have to sound breathless? But what could I give away? He would hardly believe the time-traveling truth.

"Your arm is bleeding," Paul added.

"That's why I was trying to find the bathroom," I groped wildly, wringing my hair out. "To wash it off."

Paul just shook his head. "You know what? I'm just going back to the party. Have fun, you two crazy love birds…"

Judah's grin as Paul said this and left for the main room was not lost on me. "You'll find a few changes in this time, Cait," he said quietly. "For instance, a few days ago I asked you to be my girlfriend."

I knew my heart too well to doubt the outcome. For five seconds I was speechless. Lots of impossible things had seemed possible with the Doctor, but this hadn't been one. It never even occurred to me in my frenzy to save his life.

"No way," I murmured, my heart tapping on my ribcage._"No way_."

I could have done many more things at that moment—hugged him, thrown my hands over my heart, caught my breath, made a stupid remark, asked him how long he'd wanted to ask—but instead, my jaw dropped for a completely different reason:

"The Doctor said no changes but what time and space had accepted, saving your life! He forgot to tell you!"

Judah's eyebrows creased, and he shrugged again. "I guess the time-space continuum will just have to let it go." His voice was very firm. "'Cause I have an idea to jog your memory. Want a minute without—that?" He waved at the open door that let in all the jubilant chaos of the party.

We stood on the front porch instead of the back, for if we had gone back again I knew I would break down because of the disappointment of the TARDIS's absence. As it happened, I broke down anyway, but that's still coming.

His fabulous idea consisted of a kiss. I remembered everything that the other Caitlin had experienced in the last week. But this other self was a person who hadn't seen Judah shelter and protect her.

_Confusion that Judah looked overjoyed to see me_

_Euphoria as he asked me out_

_Panic as I thought, _The face is his and the voice is his, but the mind obviously isn't_… _

_Teasing disbelief; Judah's face reddening; and finally, blind acceptance_

I laughed, cutting the kiss short. "Judah Colin Shepard," I whispered, "you _never _do that without me again. I want to _be _there next time! I saw it all. Everything that happened when you lived…"

I meant to go on, but his face silenced me abruptly. _Startled _didn't cover it. "I saw what happened when I didn't."

In a rush I remembered how misery had made me sign a napkin and how the Doctor gave me hope and how scared I had been for Judah, for myself, for Clesto and I'd chosen Clesto and nearly killed Judah and how the revolting Cyprien had held him in pain and how the Doctor had forbidden them like Gandalf before the Balrog and how Clesto had gone and how I had left the Doctor alone in the big, empty TARDIS in the big, dangerous universe and how much I liked Judah, loved him in fact—

"Breathe, Cait," Judah whispered in my ear.

"I _need_ to stop taking myself seriously," I sobbed, exhausted. "You get a fright, and I'm the one who…?"

Judah just held my damp body tight until I felt safe because I knew he _got _it. We would always be different because of the Doctor, remembering two realities and times, traveling through things humans shouldn't be able to.

I pulled back, suddenly calm. I felt as if I wouldn't be crying again for quite some time. "It was worth it."

Color came into Judah's face, and I realized how pale he had gone. "Oh, definitely."

His brown eyes were intense but completely human, just the way they should have been. I wished the Doctor best of luck and beyond, but I was content to live, and to love, in the present.

"Our lives have changed completely. What are we going to do with ourselves?"

"What would he want us to do?" Judah asked thoughtfully, gazing into my eyes.

We smiled at each other.

The End

Probably

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A/N: You've finished the story. Why not review? I could use any suggestions for more rewriting - and a sequel. ;)


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